HUMILITY: SOME SIGNS AND MANIFESTATIONS
Do we acknowledge our defects and struggle against those traits in our character which disrupt the peaceful environment in our home, workplace…in our dealings with others? Let us not forget that humility helps us to realize what can displease others in our behaviour, and to try to change it.
Humility helps us to realize what can displease others in our behaviour, and to try to change it.
St Paul writes to the Philippians: Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
- This is the way we should practise our dealings with others. At the foundation of our dealings we should place humility.
Small or big irritations may sometimes arise in our social dealings. St. Josemaria warned us:
You have clashes of character with other people… That kind of thing is inevitable: you’re not a gold coin that everyone likes. Besides, without those clashes produced by your contact with your neighbour, how would you lose the rough edges and jagged points – the imperfections and defects – of your temper, so as to acquire the regular, polished and firmly gentle form of charity, of perfection?
If your character and the characters of those who live with you were soft and sweet like meringues, you would not become a saint.
If we are humble, if we recognize our defects and struggle to uproot them, we will contribute to a climate built on charity in our environment.
St. Josemaria once wrote:
This environment in our centres helps us to practise the Christian virtues and to be in a position to work and develop our human personality with dignity and calm. Our houses are as simple as the home in Nazareth that witnessed the hidden life of Jesus. They have the human and divine warmth of the home in Bethany which our Lord sanctified, seeking there true friendship, intimacy and understanding.
Always be very human, my children. To be very spiritual, very supernatural, we need to be very human and strive to have a deeply human grasp of life. God our Lord does not build on the disorder of an inhuman life. We have to understand others, to get along with them and forgive them, never being scandalized by anything or anyone: because this will encourage your brothers or sisters and make it easy for them to seek out your help.
Therefore, St. Josemaría advises, ask God boldly for this treasure, for the supernatural virtue of charity, so that you may practise it even in the smallest details.
Forgetting ourselves to make life more pleasant for those around us.
The humble man, St John Chrysostom says, is useful both to himself and to others. He can forget about himself and serve those around him, watching out for their happiness and rest.
Throughout the day there are countless opportunities of making the way to holiness more pleasant for those around us. We should strive to cultivate the details of attentiveness that stem from deeply-felt love and make family life a foretaste of heaven. Each small detail of our personal appearance, caring for the house, preparing meals, helping someone to relax – all done quite naturally – is so important. And St. Josemaria said in 1956: over the past twenty-eight years there’s been an unbroken tradition in the Work: we are willing do whatever necessary, even sing and dance, to bring joy to our brothers or sisters. No one has ever said they don’t know how to or can’t.
We need to be humble to give ourselves to the others in this way. Humility means that we never feel humiliated before the others. Nor will we seek to stand out or be admired, which would harm the human and supernatural affection we should have for one another as children of God in the Work. St John Chrysostom writes: “What is it you fear?” our Lord seems to ask you. “Being humiliated? Look at me. Consider my example, and then you will clearly see the greatness of humility.”
Humble people are satisfied with little. They don’t consider themselves worth much attention, nor are they prone to feeling slighted. St. Josemaria advised us: Don’t be so… touchy. -You’re hurt by the slightest thing. -One has to weigh one’s words before speaking to you even about quite insignificant matters.
Don’t be annoyed if I tell you that you are… unbearable. -Unless you correct your behaviour, you will never be useful.
If we are humble, we learn how to behave without hurting anyone.
If we are humble, we learn how to behave without hurting anyone. We won’t think about our rights but rather about our duties towards our brothers or sisters. Thus many useless worries are dispelled, and above all, we discover the true joy of generous dedication. St. Josemaria wrote:
It has cost you a lot to begin getting rid of those niggling worries and forgetting about those personal things you were looking forward to. They may have been few and not very splendid, but they were deeply rooted. In exchange, you are sure now that you are interested and concerned about your brothers, and only about them, for you have learned to discover Jesus Christ in your neighbour.
– Adapted from the Book of Meditations (private collection).
